Ravage – ‘Born of Light’

His first memory was the slow awareness of warmth. Light surrounded him also, a golden glow that suffused his entire being. It cradled him, soothed him, protected him in a way he would later understand as a love so deep that he could never be separated from it.

There was music too, in this place of peace and perfect innocence. Wordless and filled with quiet power, it threaded around him and through him.

A voice was next, filled with love and welcome.

Surprised to discover he could, he returned the greeting.

The music around him danced with joy as he awoke. The golden glow became brighter, and the voice smiled down at him, and he dared to smile back.

Who are you, he asked the voice, delighting in his new awareness, and in this communion with this Other who loved him.

I am your father, replied the voice, and down through the light and the music came the lightest of feather touches against his soul. Who are you?

Something within him responded to the gentle touch, and a contentment spread through him. The question of who he was remained, however, and as best he could he tried to examine his own consciousness.

In contrast to the gentle gold glow around him, his own awareness was dark. At first he was dismayed, but a closer examination revealed the darkness to be reassuringly soft, a velvet textured blackness.

I am different, he said with confusion.

We are distinct beings, the voice agreed.

Why?

A low, amused, loving chuckle reverberated throughout the light. You are immediately curious. I should have expected that in you, my son.

Confused by the answer, he examined the touch of his father’s presence, cautiously reaching out in return. A quiet strength was revealed to his soft nudging probes, and an immense gentle love, and… something more.

There is more than this? he asked, confused again yet exited at the prospect. Something else existed beyond the light, hints of a world waiting to be explored.

There is, his father confirmed, encouraging.

Are you out there, too?

I am.

Pause.

Are there others?

Oh yes.

Can I meet them?

Are you ready?

He paused yet again, uncertain. His careful probing was endured patiently by his father, who sent another stream of music surging around him in encouragement.

Yes, he said finally. I’m ready.

A new sound came to him, another voice that he somehow recognized as still belonging to his father. Its modulated tones were distinct, and in that moment he decided he would always find its sound beautiful.

“Ravage, eject.”

Laserbeak – ‘Reaching for Grace’

I was created to fly the clear heavens, to explore a boundless realm filled with light, to soar through clean, fresh air.

I became one who lurked in the hidden places of the enemy, the silent witness to secret atrocities and muttered dark designs. I fly through tunnels filled with noxious fumes, over battlegrounds wreathed with smoke.

How long can one gaze into an abyss before the blackness ensnares a part of the watcher? The question troubles me. Buzzsaw says I think too much, and perhaps I do.

And yet, even our father’s soothing mental touch cannot sooth the horror-filled memories of all the captives I have seen and all the tortures I have witnessed that I was unable to stop. Oh, sweet Unicron, if you exist, take these memories away, for I am sick of seeing them in my dreams. Sometimes, it is true, the information I gather on such missions have made all the difference in whether the Decepticons win or lose a battle, and for a time I am able to exult in the feeling of having made a difference.

And then rumors of another planned war-ground reach the audios of the Decepticon Command, and I am once again called upon to penetrate the vile lairs of the Autobots. As always, I fly into the darkest core of the Autobot camp, past their outer lines and often to within meters of their secret council chambers. I may have seen more of the Lord Prime than all the other Decepticons put together. Every time I see him, my very spark goes cold and numb, and I find myself staring into the abyss once more.

It was not always so, this cycle of hope and despair. I can remember the first few sweet years of my existence and a time when the war felt like something that could be won. I remember a time when each day was an adventure, and each night a time of sharing and recounting experiences and feelings. Sometimes, I even remember when there was only harmony in my world, and then I can rejoin my brothers in the clear tones of our music, our song which is and ever shall be unique in all the universe.

Father worries for me, I know. Recently, he has started having words with Megatron that I not be sent as often to the enemy camps. Megatron, I think, faces the realities of war more firmly than does Father. But I am grateful that Soundwave can take other than the pure military view, that Ravage, Buzzsaw, and I have a champion who would place our welfare above even all the other Decepticons as a whole. Even more comforting is to know this fact spark-deep, and as well as I know my own name. There are no lies or deception in the golden realm that is my salvation and sanity.

And yet… this is one argument that Soundwave cannot win. Accurate information will be vital to the winning of this war, and Megatron would send my brothers and I out twice as often as we already go were it not for his own level of concern for us. The missions will continue, and I will go willingly, for although I am sick to the depths of my soul of spying on the Lord Prime and his generals, there is always the chance that each mission will be one of those that saves lives. And of course, I would always rather it be I that goes in place of Ravage or Buzzsaw. Buzzsaw is the best of us, and I feel better knowing that his missions as message-courier places him at less risk than what I assume each time I infiltrate the Lair… and that he not have to see what I am forced to watch.

And maybe, if we are fast enough, and strong enough, and know enough of the enemy’s plans, we can win this war, and all will return to the way it was. Perhaps our two new brothers that Father is building will wake to a fresh peace instead of a smoldering war. Maybe harmony will once again return to my life, and the traces of the abyss will be scoured from my soul.

And I will be free to fly in the clean air once more.

Buzzsaw – ‘Peace Is Where You Find It’

‘Happiness is wanting what you have.’ That’s what Father says, and I know that he is right. I have my family, I have my friends, I have flight and song and hope. And most of the time, it is enough.

I worry about ‘Beak, though. He thinks too much, and I’m pretty sure that he has his hopes set on we Decepticons winning the war. He wants something that we don’t have, and wants it too much to be happy without it. I keep trying to point this out to him, but I can’t seem to make him understand. Ravage understands that a little better. But then he’s also older than the rest of us. My younger brothers will understand, I think.. And Father understands best of all.

I wonder if ‘Beak gets so depressed because of all his missions to the Autobot’s Lair. He’s the very best at all of us at getting inside there – even better than Ravage. So he ends up going there, and seeing a lot of nasty things. Most of my job is relaying messages to other Decepticons who are my friends. I get to fly, and there’s almost nothing better than going up in the air and finding a thermal to float on until it’s time to dive down back to Cybertron. I offered to change jobs with Laserbeak, but he never lets me be the one to go to the Lair. I think he’s trying to protect me, and I love him for it; but I just wish he didn’t have to see the things he does, either.

Father had another argument with Megatron last night. I hate it when they argue. Both of them want the best for all of us, but they can’t seem to agree on how to do it. If there’s one thing I want that I don’t have, it would be for all Decepticons, all of us, to never argue between ourselves. The Autobots have enough hate and anger for all of Cybertron – we don’t need any more here!

The Autobots… they might be winning the war. It seems like every time I see Megatron, he looks more worried. And it feels like we’re losing friends all the time. It wasn’t that long ago that Straxus died, when the Lord Prime killed him and took Darkmount. I always feel sad when I think about that. Straxus was so kind to us, always asking how we were doing, and passing along greetings to Father. Straxus is gone, now, but at least I have a lot of good memories, so in a way, he’ll live as long as any of us still remember him.

It wasn’t long after Darkmount fell that Rumble and Frenzy became our new brothers. I remember that Megatron was upset – something I didn’t understand about creations coming on-line during war. But I wouldn’t trade either of them for worlds. I was so happy when both of them came on line! Right now Rumble spends all his spare time studying music and coming up with new songs to sing, and Frenzy is still trying to figure out where he fits in. He’ll feel comfortable here soon, I’m sure. He knows he’s loved – we all do – and that is something we have that is beyond price.

Rumble - ‘How Can I Keep From Singing?’

Music pulled me from darkness into light.

Single notes plucked from the longest strings of a greatharp gathered around him, then doubled themselves into thirds and fourths, resonating in and around and through him…

That’s the first thing I remember, but the same sorta feeling has repeated again and again in my life. Whenever I start getting down in the dumps, all I gotta do is pull out a datapad and start writing music. If somethin’ giving me the heebie-jeebies, I just start humming away. And when we all get a break and things are going good, getting my father and brothers to sing with me just makes it better!

A deep basso voice, harmonizing with itself, is joined by another. A baritone enters above them in a major chord, then first one tenor, and then a second. And high above them all, a sweet whistling voice trills a cheerful, merry tune in perfect pitch.

It’s an awfully good thing that we have something to cheer us up. We just got back to Cybertron from a world where we lost to the Autobots – again. Laserbeak’s real torn up about it, too. What he’s shared with us is that he got real close to one of the organics, and she got killed in the last fight we had there. I feel really bad about that world – they had some really great music there, stuff that I hadn’t heard before even on other worlds.

A lone flute trills sadly for a time, then is joined by the supportive, gentle tones of chimes. A rainstick’s pebbles slowly trickle down the length of the tube.

But the Autobots don’t care about music, or about anything else besides how many energon cubes they got. Slagging shallow, if you ask me. But I suppose we should care about how many cubes we got, too – at least that’s what Ratbat says, and I know he’s right. I can’t compose on an empty fuel tank, no more’n any of us can fly without energon. But I think we’re better’n the ‘Bots – we use energon to live, not to hoard it for the sake of havin’ it.

Deep horns and percussion move together in a threatening tempo. Strings skirmish with each other in brief, minor-keyed flurries, then perish in double-kills.

At any rate, things are looking bad enough that Megatron’s starting to think about another off-world mission – not one to fight the Autobots, but to find some of the good pink stuff for us, enough for us to get back on our feet and maybe win a little. Winning… I can hear the music now…

Horns sound a grand fanfare, new sections adding harmonies by thirds up an ascending swell of sound like a rising tide. Then they quiet as strings take their place, with woodwinds entering with complex runs, quick and fast like rays of sunlight…

Yeah, it’d be great to have a reason to write music like that.

Frenzy – ‘Ties That Bind’

At first, just existing was an odd feeling. I didn’t know quite why I was created. Rumble joked that we were needed to fill in the choir, and Father just smiled and told me that some day I’d understand. But really, I don’t have much of a special function (anything I can do, Rumble can do with twice the precision and three times the flair).

So I filled in wherever I could, and somewhere along the way I discovered that I loved my brothers enough that I’d do anything for them. I’m the one that ignores that little voice in my head that dispenses good advice and ends up pulling pranks with Ravage. I’ll sing anything that Rumble composes, tease Buzzsaw until he breaks out with that wonderful whistling laughter, and be patient with Laserbeak during his moods. I’ll even listen to Ratbat when he breaks into lectures about old economic theory.

I look around at the other Decepticons and wonder how many of them have anything close to the relationship I have with my family. The Constructicons understand, I’m pretty certain, but otherwise there aren’t that many. I asked Star about it once. ‘You can’t miss what you’ve never had’, he told me, but I wasn’t sure he really meant it.

To me, it’s a miracle that my family has survived all this time intact. All my life, the war has been there, with peacetime something I glimpse only in the memories that Father and Ravage share with the rest of us. We’ve lost so many friends over the years, either to death or to exile (I miss them all). And those of us left, well, tomorrow a lot of us leave Cybertron, while the rest wait and try to hold out until we come back with energon.

Megatron needs Soundwave to protect the ship from the Autobot telepaths (those guys are pretty scary!) so we’ll all go along. I got the feeling that Megatron wasn’t real happy about all of us going on a dangerous mission, but Father insisted. I can see Megatron’s point, but I’m glad all seven of us are going, because I’ve always had this feeling that as long as all of us stand together, we’ll all come through all right. And… it might be best to be out of Shockwave’s sight for a while, too. He really wasn’t that amused that Ravage and I programmed his door to sing ‘Achy Breaky Spark’ (even though everyone else fell to the floor laughing).

The thought of the new mission does worry me (why, oh why did we name the ship the ‘Nemesis’? That’s just creepy). I can’t shake this bad feeling I have about it. Father asked me the other day how I was doing. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just smiled up and told him I was fine. He knew better – and he knew that I knew he knew better – but he didn’t push me on it. Instead he smiled in that way he has (you can see it in his optics), and told me that he was glad that I was going with him tomorrow. And when he touched my shoulder, I could feel that he loves me. And you know what? After that, I really was fine. Maybe tomorrow will turn out okay after all, and we’ll be back home with a cargo bay full of energon in no time flat.

A Mech can dream, can’t he?